Thats it, No more Mr. Nice Guy

Wow, this seems to be a very hot topic in relationships. If you recalled from my last blog, I discussed being a "friend" rather than a potential lover. Well this blog will introduce the topic of how we as the nice guys (yes I said we), tend to not finish or become unsuccessful because of the way we conduct ourselves. During this search I came across an abundance of information on this subject. I can recall my mother always told me to treat people nice and then that's what I did by default and became Mr. Nice Guy. Now while you are this guy you follow specific guidelines or you have a tendency to display certain qualities that you may not realize like. This came from a site called Pick Up Women:

- Being too needy;
- Unrealistic Expectations/Premeditated Resentments;
- Idolizing a woman;
- Living for everyone else but himself and becoming dull;
- Making his happiness and existence too dependent on his relationships with others.

This may come from the lack of experience in dating other women that we tend to gravitate towards the attention that we receive. Women do not need or want men that are too, and this behavior makes the women feel smothered and puts her under the impression that her mate is not confident being with her. This presents itself as entirely too much pressure. As we find a mate that we believe have potential, we do all the great things to only think that we will receive the same in return which become a Unrealistic Expectation (Pick up Woman).


I can recall on numerous occasions where my "Nice Guy" syndrome got in the way of a successful relationship. Only to watch my dream sail off with the jerk. This burned me up inside and makes me continuously ponders questions such as; Why was the girl I wanted gravitated to this guy instead of what she was looking for, that was on the phone, gave her attention, etc? Let's think about it this way; a women can get all of that stuff from her other friends why do you need to exhibit that behavior. Also jerks have a tendency to be unpredictable and exciting. I have tried turning into the jerk but for the wrong reasons. On the other hand, I have focused more on loving myself, being committed to my success, and being more unpredictable (i thought i was good in that department). These characteristics are recognized by women and can increase your chances in the dating game. "It is amazing how all the assholes gets all of the girls" as outlined in this article called Nice Guys Finish Last by Garret Hols.


As stated by in an article by Daniel Bacon called Why do nice guys fail with women, it states that all of you nice guys should just develop an edge. Do not be afraid to be yourself. You can focus on her but not to the extent that she is being smothered and feels that you are needy. She does not want all of the power, that's boring. Be the man and take the lead. That is what you are there for. Especially become flirtatious, because you have to keep it going. Do not be afraid if you make mistakes as you can only get better. I am not saying to just totally drop the fact of being a nice guy. If that is who you are genuinely then that is not going to fade away. Just understand that you have to monitor your tendencies to see if some of your routines my scare a women off into the arms of that jerk. There is no fear Mr. Impact is here.



I did not have any difficulty finding these sites. Now the women will know our secrets.

Wikipedia's definition of Nice Guy

Wikipedia, (2007). Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy

Why do nice guys finish last?

The Trustees of Columbia University in the City of New York, (2007). Why do nice guys finish last. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1689.html

Why do nice guys fail with women

The Modern Man, (2007). Why do nice guys fail with women. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://www.themodernman.com/nice_guys.html

Signing off,

Truly yours,

//s//

Mr. Impact "the online alter-ego"