Well, Well, Well. I am back again with my first post for 2008. I figure that I keep the concepts of relationships on the radar. Well mainly because someone has to let these people know what is out there and I feel compelled to fix it. Hey all I can do is try. I have had people ask me of when I was going to post my next blog. Well here it is. I appreciate the love for my page. Hope you enjoy.
I had an issue that was posed to me the other day, where as someone was inquiring about the fact of why they stay in relationships. Well I feel compelled to respond to that issue. Although, I do not consider myself an expert on relationships by far, I do believe that I have enough experience to shed some light on the situation. Now I look at it like this, some people stay in relationships for certain reasons, i.e. financially (keeping your household in order financially, kids, payments etc.), we call this "the cheaper to keep her" motto, emotionally (they are tied to you so much that is all you know, and you feel that is all you may deserve and this person has emotional control over you), psychologically (whereas this person has an effect on you to the point whereas you may feel compelled to not leave, although you know that you need to) and etc. There is also another thought called security. This is where the mate feels secure about at least having someone around. This feeling of being involved brings assurance. Well as I see it, there is no reason for anyone to stay around in something that is not healthy for them mentally, physically, emotionally and any other they other "ly’s" that you want to use (they all fit). Because guess what, (and to some people this is a shocker) you can do bad all by yourself. There is no one on this earth and I mean no one that is that highly praise for you to destroy yourself over.
Now let’s take a deeper look at this. What are you staying around for? I can tell you that you do not have an answer. I have seen people be miserable and say to me “I am doing it for the kids”, or “I’m waiting for him/her to come around”. We have all heard the same song before or we have read the same book (chose your analogies wisely). At the end of the day you are going to be miserable and your mate will feel the same way as well. You have to know your self-worth and search deep inside to know what you want and most importantly what you don’t want. This becomes important when you are dealing with your mate, because your needs must be met. If you are not happy with the one you are with, its very simple to just leave. Now I understand that people cannot just get up and leave your relationship with what you have built. But if your mate does not respect and honor what has been built, then you do not have any foundation for your relationship to stand on.
For all of the people that go to your friends crying, pleading, and complaining about your relationship; I say to you that you must do something about it. No one will help you get out of a relationship. This must be accomplished by you and only you. Your friends can support you through this process but I am here to tell you that your friends can become cynical as well. We have heard repeated declarations of people claiming to leave a relationship and this does not get accomplished for days, months or maybe years. While you are stuck in this relationship, you may come across an individual who fits the traits that you desire. The only problem arise when your heart, mind, body and soul is still with your previous mate. You are not open to let all of those good things that you desire take place. This is undeserving to yourself and that individual. You and only you know what you deserve and you have the resources to control it. No one has control over you unless you give it to them. Once they have control over you, it is had to get this back. I can only empathize with individuals who go through this and encourage them to realize what they are worth and to release that unwanted pressure that this brings. Once the smoke is clear and the dust has settled you will know who is there for you and what is important to you the most, your happiness.
Please realize that I have tried to be objective as much as possible. Granted I will see responses that tends to paint me as a shallow and cynical person. All this blog is intended for is understanding and input. I value where it comes from.
Why some stay in a bad relationship
Signing off,
Truly yours,
//s//
Mr. Encore "so do you want more"
