Since January 2007, my year has been full of ups and downs. I must start from my premature relief of recruiting duty where I felt that I tried as much as I could to succeed in that job. But for some that may not be enough. There are always factors that determine anyone’s success. This goes from leadership, trial and error, tangible and intangible circumstances, etc. To try and find a nice way to talk about that experience is rather difficult. But I must take the diplomatic approach and state that I will not ever sway anyone from their success. Because I was unsuccessful at a task does not mean it will flow over to another person. I thought that the opportunity was awesome and I tried to embrace it as much as I can. I made many friends; on the contrary I found that you must understand that people cannot be trusted. I allowed for individuals to control my thoughts as for this had a negative impact on my beliefs.
As I moved into March – May 2007, this was a time to reenergize my battery and do things for myself. I finally had to understand that I must make myself succeed and not rely on forces that I cannot control. I then left Richmond, Virginia in June and was stationed in Quantico, Virginia. Now I am in classes and moving toward my Criminal Justice degree. This has been a great semester and I have met friends and educators who share the same dream and will do anything to ensure you are successful. This is a great feeling to know that you are not alone on your journey. While taking a class in English 112, I evolved into a person by the name of Mr. Impact. This person is an online alter-ego that by his input he looks to have an impact on society. At times he is emotionally detached and cynical he looks to find solutions for any problems that come his way. Through my site called The Impact Place I tackled relationships and other individuals saw me in a different and more mature light. This added additional creditability to my identity.
As for relationship, well because this is The Impact Place, it has been rough to say the least. While I was recruiting, I did not have time for any companionship. This was unfair to all the ladies that I came across because I was not able to get attached and share the same feelings that they shared. But in the interest of fairness, I did meet a wonderful person and we are cool until this day. Because of my career she thought I did not share a similar interest in companionship. This turned her away and was unfair to her. I really would have like to get to know her better, now since she has moved on; and I had to do the same.
As I now have embarked on the journey in Northern Virginia, I must understand that to succeed in the Marine Corps that I must do things that I control. It would have been wonderful to get promoted with my peers, in retrospect maybe I was not ready and I have more to do. This dose of reality made me understand that I must channel my energy and use it as a desire to help me succeed. I never kept my head down this year and I must credit this to many friends and family that let me know that I need to continue to be optimistic.
I have now come to full circle with myself and know what I want to achieve and this year is going to be monumental and set the stage for my career. I have a lot of things planned that I looked to get accomplish. So as this year closes and another opens I must say that I am leaving it all behind and moving forward. So to all my friends, associates, and companions thanks for all that you did for me this year. To all the haters and nonbelievers... Well you never had any impact on my life so I really do not care about you. I am not going anywhere and I will always and forever be Mr. Impact. This is not a mirage this is real and this is it, so strap up because somebody has to be on top.
Always and forever,
Signing off,
Truly yours,
//s//
Corey R. Benjamin a.k.a. Mr. Impact “the online alter-ego”
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
The Closeout... Just this year
Its been a great year, well thats a lie. Full of ups and downs... I really appreciate everything that people have done for me this year.. Stay tuned for the wrap up of 2007. I am going to recap the life of Corey Benjamin and the birth of Mr. Impact. This will be interesting... So hey don't have but so much fun for Christmas b/c it has to go to the New Years. Stay tuned.
Signing off,
Truly yours,
//s//
Mr. Impact "the online alter-ego"
Signing off,
Truly yours,
//s//
Mr. Impact "the online alter-ego"
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Mr. Impact's delivers ... The Final Blow
Ladies and Gentleman,
This is the next, but hopefully, not the final post on The Impact Place. Through the course of 8 weeks I have been on a search far and wide to answer topics in relationships. I was able to obtain questions on communication, interracial dating, abusive relations, attraction, and I even did some field work that turned out to be fun as well. I have to admit that I became emotionally attached to my blog and turned into an online alter-ego named Mr. Impact. By this I tried to take Corey Benjamin out of the equation and address issues from an unbiased perspective as Mr. Impact. The visitors only commented on Mr. Impact and not Corey Benjamin. But as I (Corey Benjamin) invented the site I had to understand that if I was going to give my input on such a controversial and emotional topic, that I had to be ready to embrace the responses from my community. This example goes for the blog that was posted on “And you say he’s just a friend”, where I became emotionally attach to this piece and had to understand that my responses where not only for myself but for other viewers. This blog can be perceived as a selfish and cheap attempt to find out “what the ladies want”, in an indirect manner. This was not my intent but, in the end I was able to grow and become more knowledgeable through the course of sustaining this blog. I have to admit that most of these posts came from personal experience and I felt comfortable discussing them with my audience.
As the inventor of this blog, I was able to approach these issues in my post seriously and this allowed people to see me (Corey Benjamin again) in a different light. This became an advantage when I get responses such as “that’s a great post” or “I am looking forward to next week”. This motivation serves as a fuel to write and discuss more. Due to the lack of credentials that I have (i.e. Ph. D., Master Degree, or continued education etc), I do not think that I am part of this relationship community. But, I feel that if I was to continue down this path that I will be able to service not only myself but viewers around the world. What was important to me was all the information that I was able to obtain, I found out that my feelings and thoughts where corroborated by my research. I had a lot of my viewers agree with me on alot of my topics as well. This feeling urged me to continue being Mr. Impact. In the end this was a great experience for myself and the viewers of my community. Maybe I will embark on a journey to service others in the relationship depart, but only when I feel that I am creditable.
Signing off,
Truly yours always and forever
//s//
Mr. Impact “the online alter-ego”
This is the next, but hopefully, not the final post on The Impact Place. Through the course of 8 weeks I have been on a search far and wide to answer topics in relationships. I was able to obtain questions on communication, interracial dating, abusive relations, attraction, and I even did some field work that turned out to be fun as well. I have to admit that I became emotionally attached to my blog and turned into an online alter-ego named Mr. Impact. By this I tried to take Corey Benjamin out of the equation and address issues from an unbiased perspective as Mr. Impact. The visitors only commented on Mr. Impact and not Corey Benjamin. But as I (Corey Benjamin) invented the site I had to understand that if I was going to give my input on such a controversial and emotional topic, that I had to be ready to embrace the responses from my community. This example goes for the blog that was posted on “And you say he’s just a friend”, where I became emotionally attach to this piece and had to understand that my responses where not only for myself but for other viewers. This blog can be perceived as a selfish and cheap attempt to find out “what the ladies want”, in an indirect manner. This was not my intent but, in the end I was able to grow and become more knowledgeable through the course of sustaining this blog. I have to admit that most of these posts came from personal experience and I felt comfortable discussing them with my audience.
As the inventor of this blog, I was able to approach these issues in my post seriously and this allowed people to see me (Corey Benjamin again) in a different light. This became an advantage when I get responses such as “that’s a great post” or “I am looking forward to next week”. This motivation serves as a fuel to write and discuss more. Due to the lack of credentials that I have (i.e. Ph. D., Master Degree, or continued education etc), I do not think that I am part of this relationship community. But, I feel that if I was to continue down this path that I will be able to service not only myself but viewers around the world. What was important to me was all the information that I was able to obtain, I found out that my feelings and thoughts where corroborated by my research. I had a lot of my viewers agree with me on alot of my topics as well. This feeling urged me to continue being Mr. Impact. In the end this was a great experience for myself and the viewers of my community. Maybe I will embark on a journey to service others in the relationship depart, but only when I feel that I am creditable.
Signing off,
Truly yours always and forever
//s//
Mr. Impact “the online alter-ego”
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Thats it, No more Mr. Nice Guy
Wow, this seems to be a very hot topic in relationships. If you recalled from my last blog, I discussed being a "friend" rather than a potential lover. Well this blog will introduce the topic of how we as the nice guys (yes I said we), tend to not finish or become unsuccessful because of the way we conduct ourselves. During this search I came across an abundance of information on this subject. I can recall my mother always told me to treat people nice and then that's what I did by default and became Mr. Nice Guy. Now while you are this guy you follow specific guidelines or you have a tendency to display certain qualities that you may not realize like. This came from a site called Pick Up Women:
- Being too needy;
- Unrealistic Expectations/Premeditated Resentments;
- Idolizing a woman;
- Living for everyone else but himself and becoming dull;
- Making his happiness and existence too dependent on his relationships with others.
This may come from the lack of experience in dating other women that we tend to gravitate towards the attention that we receive. Women do not need or want men that are too, and this behavior makes the women feel smothered and puts her under the impression that her mate is not confident being with her. This presents itself as entirely too much pressure. As we find a mate that we believe have potential, we do all the great things to only think that we will receive the same in return which become a Unrealistic Expectation (Pick up Woman).
I can recall on numerous occasions where my "Nice Guy" syndrome got in the way of a successful relationship. Only to watch my dream sail off with the jerk. This burned me up inside and makes me continuously ponders questions such as; Why was the girl I wanted gravitated to this guy instead of what she was looking for, that was on the phone, gave her attention, etc? Let's think about it this way; a women can get all of that stuff from her other friends why do you need to exhibit that behavior. Also jerks have a tendency to be unpredictable and exciting. I have tried turning into the jerk but for the wrong reasons. On the other hand, I have focused more on loving myself, being committed to my success, and being more unpredictable (i thought i was good in that department). These characteristics are recognized by women and can increase your chances in the dating game. "It is amazing how all the assholes gets all of the girls" as outlined in this article called Nice Guys Finish Last by Garret Hols.
As stated by in an article by Daniel Bacon called Why do nice guys fail with women, it states that all of you nice guys should just develop an edge. Do not be afraid to be yourself. You can focus on her but not to the extent that she is being smothered and feels that you are needy. She does not want all of the power, that's boring. Be the man and take the lead. That is what you are there for. Especially become flirtatious, because you have to keep it going. Do not be afraid if you make mistakes as you can only get better. I am not saying to just totally drop the fact of being a nice guy. If that is who you are genuinely then that is not going to fade away. Just understand that you have to monitor your tendencies to see if some of your routines my scare a women off into the arms of that jerk. There is no fear Mr. Impact is here.
I did not have any difficulty finding these sites. Now the women will know our secrets.
Wikipedia's definition of Nice Guy
Wikipedia, (2007). Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy
Why do nice guys finish last?
- Being too needy;
- Unrealistic Expectations/Premeditated Resentments;
- Idolizing a woman;
- Living for everyone else but himself and becoming dull;
- Making his happiness and existence too dependent on his relationships with others.
This may come from the lack of experience in dating other women that we tend to gravitate towards the attention that we receive. Women do not need or want men that are too, and this behavior makes the women feel smothered and puts her under the impression that her mate is not confident being with her. This presents itself as entirely too much pressure. As we find a mate that we believe have potential, we do all the great things to only think that we will receive the same in return which become a Unrealistic Expectation (Pick up Woman).
I can recall on numerous occasions where my "Nice Guy" syndrome got in the way of a successful relationship. Only to watch my dream sail off with the jerk. This burned me up inside and makes me continuously ponders questions such as; Why was the girl I wanted gravitated to this guy instead of what she was looking for, that was on the phone, gave her attention, etc? Let's think about it this way; a women can get all of that stuff from her other friends why do you need to exhibit that behavior. Also jerks have a tendency to be unpredictable and exciting. I have tried turning into the jerk but for the wrong reasons. On the other hand, I have focused more on loving myself, being committed to my success, and being more unpredictable (i thought i was good in that department). These characteristics are recognized by women and can increase your chances in the dating game. "It is amazing how all the assholes gets all of the girls" as outlined in this article called Nice Guys Finish Last by Garret Hols.
As stated by in an article by Daniel Bacon called Why do nice guys fail with women, it states that all of you nice guys should just develop an edge. Do not be afraid to be yourself. You can focus on her but not to the extent that she is being smothered and feels that you are needy. She does not want all of the power, that's boring. Be the man and take the lead. That is what you are there for. Especially become flirtatious, because you have to keep it going. Do not be afraid if you make mistakes as you can only get better. I am not saying to just totally drop the fact of being a nice guy. If that is who you are genuinely then that is not going to fade away. Just understand that you have to monitor your tendencies to see if some of your routines my scare a women off into the arms of that jerk. There is no fear Mr. Impact is here.
I did not have any difficulty finding these sites. Now the women will know our secrets.
Wikipedia's definition of Nice Guy
Wikipedia, (2007). Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy
Why do nice guys finish last?
The Trustees of Columbia University in the City of New York, (2007). Why do nice guys finish last. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1689.html
Why do nice guys fail with women
The Modern Man, (2007). Why do nice guys fail with women. Retrieved December 12, 2007, from http://www.themodernman.com/nice_guys.html
Signing off,
Truly yours,
//s//
Mr. Impact "the online alter-ego"
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